I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize