So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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