I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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