Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
