i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
