He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
