Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
