You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
