That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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