I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
