So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Randomize
