you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
