One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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