He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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