Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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