To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
