I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
