He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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