Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
