ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
