Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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