I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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