I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
