he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
