Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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