wake up i wanna do it froggy style
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Please don't give away my fajitas
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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