whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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