i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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