He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
