yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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