Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
