WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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