I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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