Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
