There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
How does one acquire holy water?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
