do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
His hands were made for my vagina.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
