I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
