Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Randomize
