If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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