Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
wakey wakey hands off snakey
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
