you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
