you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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