The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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