If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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