my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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