so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
