If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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