You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Sorry my hands just texted you
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
