You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
