So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
