mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize