so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
