i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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