At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I hope mine doesn't look like that
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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