Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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