mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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