you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
