Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
