belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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