I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
