If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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