Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
