Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
