how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
