Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
