You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
