So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
