I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
sarcasm needs its own font
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
