I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
