I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
